AN INTRODUCTION TO FRANCES PARKER (NEE TALBOT) 1st COUNTESS OF MORLEY

Frances Talbot - Self Portrait

Where letters and other papers exist in an archive there is an exciting possibility of gaining a precious insight into the lives of the correspondents. Having examined and transcribed hundreds of letters it soon becomes evident that the views and thoughts expressed in the letters can be interpreted in various ways. Do we apply our own values and assumptions to the contents, well yes it is unavoidable, therefore the meaning and significance of the letter content must be approached with great caution. Even greater caution must be applied when dealing with letters that appear in a series with only one of the correspondents letters surviving, a 'one sided telephone conversation'.

Only by continuous research into the personality and other virtues of the writer can the real meaning of the views expressed be discerned.

The series of letters written between the Countess of Morley and her sister-in-law Theresa Villiers are a perfect example of this. Only the Countess's letters survive, the series was written over a 10 year period 1809 to 1819.
 

Frances Talbot was born on the 10th January 1782, the only daughter of a Norfolk Surgeon, Thomas Talbot.  Their family home was Gonville Hall, Wyndonham in Norfolk, a market town nine miles from Norwich. They seem to have had a comfortable life. Her obituary tells us that her education was 'sound', perhaps she had a Governess or attended a school for young ladies. Sadly her father died when Frances was only 13, she had a legacy of £1,500 but this also had to fund her 'maintenance, education and benefit'.  Her mother received an annuity of £1,000 it is clear therefore that, although these are substantial sums, she was not in any way an heiress.  Various mentions in letters written later in her life suggest that her Mama took her to Bath to see and be seen and we now know that this is where she finally came to the less than romantic attention of her future husband, probably much to her mother's relief as she was then 27 years old.

She had one brother, Thomas, who was a gentleman of the cloth who held the living of the Parish of Catton in Norfolk. Thomas was married and with his wife Anne he had two sons. In accordance with her usual desire to help other people, once married Frances campaigned to secure a more lucrative living for her brother.  In this she was not successful, however, her brother seems to be content to bask in the reflected glory of her sudden elevation into the aristocracy, albeit fairly minor and not a little tainted with scandal.   Frances does however seem to have gathered some interesting and influential friends around her. The ebullient Rev Sidney Smith, for example was a well known for his wit, writing and forthright opinions, a staunch Whig his daughter married Lord Holland's son. Until her marriage her circle was on the periphery of the elite and only just within the sight of the real aristocracy.

Tantalising glimpses of her young life appear from time to time, she seems to have been encouraged in her painting.  This seems to have led to her going to Paris in 1802 with her mother and brother to study under the respected French painter Francois Gerard whose patrons included Madame de Stael, George Canning and Talleyrand all of whom were also associates of her future husband.  It is therefore not surprising that John Parker had indeed spotted her several years before finally claiming her in 1809, along with many other English aristocrats he was also in Paris in 1802.  Her brother writes of their hectic social life, Frances was in great demand for riding in the afternoons and there were many invitations from the Russian aristocracy including the Galitzins, who she was to meet again later in life.  Paris was a frantic round of visiting the traditional sites of architectual and historical interest as well as inspecting the changes made by the new regime.  Frances, it seems, fitted extremely well into this social whirl if only for a few short weeks.

Her self portrait is in the possession of her four times great nephew and shows a strong profile with large features, her hair is dressed in a fashionable style for the time with an abundance of curls.



Her early adult life is very sketchy, particularly after 1802 when she disappears from view almost entirely.  There is a charming portrait of her painted when she was about 20 years old, although the portrait represents her as the classical figure Lavinia the observer can easily discern that, if not a stunning beauty, she was attractive with a good figure.  The portrait was painted by the Cornish artist John Opie, the date is uncertain, Opie had married another Norwich girl, Amelia Alderson, and it is very likely that she was known to Frances since her father was also a Physician.  The copy by Thomas Phillips hangs in the Western Apartments at Saltram House, appropriately surrounded by her own works of art.

Frances Talbot 1782-1857
Painted as Lavinia after John Opie
Thomas Phillips c 1802



On her marriage to John Parker III, Lord Boringdon in 1809 there is an excellent account of her appearance written by Lady Granville, the daughter of the Duchess of Devonshire, who was to become a life long friend.  Lady Granville has just met Frances for the first time as the newly married couple were spending the first few days of their honeymoon at Badminton home of the Beauforts, she writes to her brother Lord Hartington:

"The Boringdons came to Badminton three days after you left it, she seems to suit him exactly and like him extremely.  She is not striking au fait de beaute but what some people would admire very much, a pretty figure a remarkably animated countenance, good hair, good eyes, good teeth, not a fine but not a bad complextion, a great want of manners, a loud voice.  More perfectly at ease than anyone I ever saw before but not the ease of a person used to the best company.  She is wonderfully well informed and accompished, paints and draws admirably, dances quadrilles and waltzes to perfection, very sensible in conversation, good humoured and enjoying herself to the greatest degree. In short she is a very estimable but not a very interesting person.  She has no great charm or attraction about her but nothing against attaching one to her.   One is glad to see her once without feeling veryanxious to see  her again, excepting Borino (Lord Boringdon) who has given her most satisfactory proof to the contrary." (He married her!)

Lady Granville was to revise this opinion as she drew closer to Frances, their husbands had been friends from childhood and they were naturally brought into close contact.  Being somewhat reticent and unadverturous herself she loved Frances's happy go lucky  nature and ready ability to laugh at herself and create fun whenever she was in company.  These comments, however, clearly indicate that Frances was not known in the very highest levels of society, it is therefore testimony to her personality and temperament that she was able to quickly establish herself as a favourite in their company.

A further description of her appearance comes from her husband to be, John Parker, Lord Boringdon, his view however, is hardly romantic which even he admits.  Writing to his sister before his marriage he needs reassurance that there is no insanity in the family and grudgingly concedes that her attributes are acceptable enough to consider her marriageable if no better candidate came along.  He writes:

"..............Her manners are excessively good, very pretty figure - very cheerful - very pretty indeed by candlelight and when dressed and I think particularly agreeable in conversation. .......................I shall then consider her as a very good wife in the quadruple contingency of my feeling myself disposed towards matrimony at any period - if nothing more eligible turning up in the interim and the lady being then unmarried and ditto being then willing." PWDRO 1259/2/7

Several contemporary observers agree that Frances had a loud voice and a laugh like a man.  There was no mistaking when she was in the company and since she loved riddles and jokes along with energetic impersonations of a variety of animals and humans, her laughter was frequent and infectious.  Again Lady Granville records an example of Frances's sometimes unbridled enthusiasm, on a visit to Saltram in October 1828 they are joined by George Canning and his wife.  Canning was an old friend of John Parker's from University days and was destined to become the Prime Minister if only for the shortest period on record.  Lady Granville writes to Lady Morpeth of an evening entertainment:

"......In the evening she (Lady Morley) heads a round game.  You should have heard Mr Canning and her bawling 'My sows pigged' at one another.  The sober minded and elderly ecart, Granville reads his book, Lord Morley sleeps"
 

One thing is certain, however, Frances herself was not overly fussed about her appearance nor how she appeared to others. Lady Granville, whilst staying at Saltram in 1815 also tells of their visit to Cotehele, the country estate of the Earl of Mount Edgcombe situated on the River Tamar.  Frances raced up the hill loudly announcing their arrival, her hair awry, an old green shawl around her shoulders and her bonnet askew.  So dishevelled was she that the maid was reluctant to allow her into the house.

It was perhaps fortunate that she was not concerned with keeping up with the latest fashions since following her marriage family finances were creaking under the weight of inherited debt.  Her brother visited her at Saltram two years after her wedding, he was a little taken aback to see that she was still wearing dresses from before her marriage which were straining at the seams since she had put on a considerable amount of weight in the intervening two years.  He also comments that her jewels were unremarkable and not nearly so impressive as some of the wives of her neighbours, particularly Lady Lopes.  Occasionally, however, a new dress was forthcoming for a special occasion on the 23rd December 1815 she writes:

"My gown too is the very thing, as far as the price I don't care a farthing since the Earl and his bounty is so condescending as to pay for it" BL 48237

This along with other small comments seems to indicate that her annual dress allowance of £300 did not stretch very far when it came to something special and a little arm twisting had to be applied to persuade her husband to pay the bill.

She seems to have struggled to control her weight, she insists on all the family being regularly weighed and their weight recorded. She puts herself on a diet of bread, watercress, radish and water having declared herself 'Phatt!". In her middle years after several pregnancies, some of which ended in miscarriage, she finally seems to become more comfortable with her appearance and her portraits show her to be plump if not actually obese.

It seems therefore that Frances was attractive on the outside but what of her personality. Fortunately we have numerous commentaries from friends and relatives which enthusiastically report on her nature.

Perhaps some of the best recollections are through the eyes of a child. Adelaide Lister was great neice by marriage to John Parker III therefore Frances was her step great aunt. She was a frequent visitor as a small child to Kent House in Knightsbridge which was home to both Theresa Villiers, John Parker's sister and John and Frances themselves. Her memoir gives special attention to Frances as she figured largely in her life as she was growing up.





Adelaide confirms that Frances had a loud laugh but does not agree with Creevey who said that she was masculine.

"............she has a great deal of natural waggery, with overflowing spirits; but she is more of a noisy man than a polished Countess." (Creevey Papers, Vol. II p 243, John Murray, London 1904)

Hon Adelaide Lister

Adelaide was more of the opinion that she was 'motherley', her charm and ability to amuse and entertain children with her stories and impressions accompanied with 'the most terrible grimaces', made a great impression on this little girl.  She also taught Adelaide to paint in a certain style which would cover up any mistakes she might make. She says:

"The exquisite fun she made was always suited to her audience.  It seemed to bubble up just as much with us children as when she was in the company of the greatest wits."

 

Not that Frances's stories were always entirely suitable for children, she was not afraid to make them rather scarey peopled with goblins, skeletons and monkeys it would seem that Victorian children loved to be frightened just as children do today. 

In the correspondence between Frances and Theresa Villiers there are several mentions of 'my girls', this was something of a mystery which is explained by Adelaide whose visits to Frances were often accompanied by Sarah and Louise Gordon, these were the two little girls of Henry and Louisa Gordon and were John Parker's grandaughters albeit from the wrong side of the blanket.  Just as Frances had embraced John's illegitimate sons so she took these little girls under her wing, taking them on sightseeing expeditions and generally showing an interest in them all.

So fond was Adelaide of Frances she nursed a secret hope that on the death of her mother her stepfather would marry the recently widowed Frances, however, this was but the wish of an innocent young girl.

Sadly in her later life Adelaide lost touch with her step Aunt, but her memoirs demonstrate a great fondness for her and a regret that she did not look upon the more serious side of her life and thoughts when she had the opportunity.

Frances's own letters to Theresa Villiers reveal her to be warm and caring, her letters written later in life to her friend Lady Grey also demonstrate her love of the family, her 'chicks' as she calls them, and her desire to keep them close.  This does not necessarily mean however, that she could not be ascerbic and quite cutting about those who irritated her or demonstrated self importance and negative attitudes.  This was always done with her usual humour and witty comments, but nevertheless she did not suffer fools gladly.



Hon Anne Robinson
John Downman 1780

A noteable testament to the power of her personality was that she won over the stern and rather humourless Anne Robinson or 'Aunt Nanny' as she was known in the family. Anne was John Parker III's aunt and had cared for him and his sister Theresa after their mother's death in 1775.  She had lived at Saltram for many years when Frances arrived as Jack's new bride and had therefore been introduced to his illegitimate sons although it would seem nobody had explained to her who these three boys really were.  It was eventually Frances who was entrusted with this task since nobody else dared to broach the subject. (BL48234, 07.12.1811)  Anne was very reticent about showing any emotions but her concern for Frances during her pregnancies is evident, Frances writes:

"The Honorable Anne she watches me as a cat watches a mouse. She is in agony if I lift up my finger or walk across the room" (BL48235, 15.10.1813)

One of her greatest assets was her ability to be interested in people, she could hold lively conversations because she kept herself informed about current affairs, the latest books, music, dances, gossip and even showed a keen interest in her husband's, sometimes risky, business affairs.  This was by no means the norm for women at this period of history when many were merely extensions of their husband's views and had no opinions of their own, and even if they had would not dare to express them.  Even more unusually her opinions were respected and even though she was never a shrinking violet at a dinner party her company was sought in the very best of households because she could liven up any gathering large or small with her sparkling wit and sheer enthusiam for life.



Prison hulks inner harbour Plymouth, Nicholas Condy early 19thc

Occasionally her desire to care and make things better for people less fortunate than herself would lead her into situations which she found difficult to extricate herself from.  In September 1811 whilst visiting a prison ship in the Dockyard at Plymouth, (possibly HMS Captivity), she encountered a small boy of about five years old, the same age as her step son Henry.  On enquiring about him she discovered that his father was a prisoner on board and somehow he had been captured along with him.  Her immediate thought was that she could save the boy from his terrible life with the prisoners and offered to take him to live with them as a play mate for Henry.  She reports that his father 'recoiled in agony' but agreed that it would be the best for the boy and it was arranged that she would return the next day to fetch him.  There was a delay as they discovered an application had to be made to the Transport Board if they wished to remove him from the ship.  On a further visit she declared that the father was a 'very decent, respectable man' who claimed to be a merchant.  A few days later all plans of adopting the boy were abandoned when it was discovered that the father was reckoned worthless. Henry was appeased with the promise of a Shetland pony and all was forgotten. There was, of course, no intended carelessness about her promises to the French man to adopt and care for his son, but the sudden dismissal of the plan was simply the nature of the prevailing values at the time. This incident does, however, reveal another aspect of her personality - spontenaity coupled with a little impetuousness, this would no doubt have caused her some frustration since her husband was well known for his dithering and procrastination. 

 

A picture gradually builds of Frances, warm, open, kind who sometimes acted spontaneously without giving much thought to the consequences.  A woman who charmed both men and women with her wit and capacity for fun.  It is perhaps surprising therefore, to discover that she was far from confident when it came to dealing with any situation that proved to be even remotely confrontational.  This was particularly evident when it came to dealing with the servants, this chore she was just as happy to leave to her husband as he was to oblige.  We find phrases such as "screwing my courage to the tipping point" when faced with a difficult conversation.  She was not beneath listening at the door, however, to hear her husband take a servant to task!

In the series of letters from Frances to Theresa Villiers there is only one incidence of her irritation with her sister in law.  This seems to arise from a misunderstanding of the wording in a letter and a couple of letters later is soon laid to rest.  The children rarely give her cause for anger, although they were, in the main, under the watchful eye of their nurse or Governess.  There is only one example when her she expressed genuine anger which had spilled over into a rare moment of confrontation.  This concerned a fiery Welsh nursemaid, Mrs Chambers, it seems to have been a universal problem finding the right calibre of nurse or governess for children.  Mrs Chambers had been rude to a guest at the house, Frances could not condone this behaviour particularly when directed at somebody she had invited into the house.  Frances confronted the nursemaid who then turned her anger onto her, at this point Frances writes "......I desired her in a pretty peremptory manner to be off".  The following day when clearly her initial anger had been replaced by her usual reticence Frances took the unusual step of confronting Mrs Chambers herself "......I said as quietly as possible (for as usual I was horribly nervous)", during this conversation she left her with the threat of dismissal. Lord Boringdon intervened and it transpired that Mrs Chambers was not dismissed but was forced to apologise to Frances.

Frances had a number of exemplary qualities, but perhaps her most remarkable attribute was her  capacity for tolerance in the face of her husband's roving eye.  It is not clear whether he continued to see his lover, Lady Elizabeth Monk,  after his marriage to Frances, he was certainly seeing her during the period of his first marriage to Augusta and this was a source of constant despair to her.  There is some flimsy evidence to suggest that he did have an affair early on in their marriage, he writes to his sister  "...........Do not make yourself uneasy about Mrs Eliot, Lady B knows of it and has taken it very well" (BL48227. 28.01.1810).  However, later in their marriage it would appear that Frances has to swallow hard and accept her husband's attentions to a variety of other women.  We hear of visits to a Mrs Hart in Plymouth who she strongly suspects he fancies, he arranges a ball so that he can invite her, this is so successful that another ball is arranged for later in the same week.  Frances writing to Mrs Villiers seems to find the whole thing amusing particularly as, in her opinion, Miss Hart is not the most attractive of women:

".........Jack caught the Hart yesterday and found her looking so ravishing (Bye the bye no lady would think her the least good looking she is ill drest (sic), whippy and vulgar and eats up gravy with her knife!!!) that he could not help having another ball for her next Thursday so all the same party are to come".(BL48237, 17.01.1814)



Frances's Cartoon of a Ball

At this second ball Frances was outraged that he had also invited his previous 'fancy' Mrs Christian and was determined to support her in the face of the new opposition:

".........He has two of his ladies coming to the event.  Mrs Hart and her predecessor Mrs Christian I say that it is absolutely infamous to invite the latter under existing cirumstances to see her hated rival basking in the sunshine of that favour which she herself so recently enjoyed. I feel her situation so sensibly that I am determined to support her drooping spirits and to perform the part of bottle holder to her if the favourite Sultana should in the arrogance and intoxication attending on prosperity dare to insult her fallen fortunes" (BL48237, 20.01.1814).

Jack seems to have no concept of what an exhibition he makes of himself with these women, the balls are held during a period of severe winter weather, there having been heavy falls of snow and extreme cold for several weeks. Frances writes of Mrs Hart's departure from the ball:

"........My Lord looked the Grand Signier himself in the midst of his harem.  You would have been delighted to see him preparing the Hart to walk through the snow on both knees, before putting on her legs a pair of his own worsted stockings and tying them up with his own boot garters". (BL48237, 23.01.1814)

Later he turns his attention to a certain Mrs Clarke she is a neighbour who proves a source of entertainment for Frances since she is not thought of as being suitable company for ladies, Jack makes several visits to her on flimsy pretexts and the lady even receives him when she has leeches on her face! (BL48237, 07.09.14)

Whether Jack did indulge in full blown affairs with these women or whether they were strong and very public flirtations, we can only surmise.  He certainly does seem to have a roving eye which Frances fully appreciates and is apparently prepared to tolerate.  The reasons for her forbearance are unclear, it may have been simply a case of knowing which side her bread was buttered.  She had landed herself, more by chance than design,  an aristocrat, the first to do so in her family.  As a consequence she had the luxury of being able to live the life of a privileged woman with servants, two beautiful homes and freedom to indulge her own interests.  Watching Jack make a fool of himself safe within the knowledge that her position was more than secure, after all he had already gone through one divorce, he was unlikely to survive in society if he abandoned yet another wife, was perhaps a small price to pay.

It is Jack who gives us a clue to the basis of Frances's approach to life.  Tragedy strikes the family in 1817/18 when two of the three children die within a few months of one another.  Frances grieves and Jack writes to his sister that in her distress she turns, as always, to her religion and Frances herself tells of her philosophical view that whatever life has in store for you, it is God's will and must be accepted.  This belief saw her through the deaths of the children, her own illnesses and her widowhood which lastest for 17 years.  Grief also seemed to trigger a desire to travel, she considered that it took the mind off whatever disaster had occurred and helped to put the past behind you.

At this period of history women were generally submissive and subject to their husbands direction and whims, strangely Frances somehow manages to achieve this whilst at the same time exerting her own opinions, drawing around her friends who reflect her own personality.  This is important because her husband was the complete opposite, starchy and stiff to her wit and spontaneity, controlling and dominant to her openess and warmth.  It is her own relaxed approach to life that allows her to deal with husband's idiosyncrasies, pompous and demanding personality.

 

Frances 1st Countess Morley

Her letters are full of her wit, philosophies, suprisingly modern language, ascerbic thoughts about those who irritate and give us a clear picture of a lady who was a force to be reckoned with but had a great capacity to love and was loved by all who were fortunate to be counted as a friend or relative.