THE EARLY LIFE OF JOHN PARKER III - 1st EARL OF MORLEY

In November 1809 Jack Parker, Lord Boringdon, decided to write his memoirs since he considered his life to date was important enough to share.  This should have been one of the raciest stories ever written, however, in reality it turned out to be boring and pompous.  He pulls towards him a large quire of foolscap paper and sits pen poised – and writes “I was born on the 3rd May 1772” this was in fact all he wrote for some while he just didn’t seem to be able to get started.  However, even if he did not start to write he did start to remember and Frances Lady Boringdon writes to her sister in law that he recalled escaping from his tutor Mr Andrews and meeting a pretty Miss Heywood, the daughter of a neighbour, this was when he was just 16 clearly signalling what was to follow over the coming years.  Incidentally when Mr Andrews finally caught up with him he was soundly beaten for daring to strike out alone to meet a young lady unsupervised.

John Parker III, Lord Boringdon, age 26.
by John Hoppner

Jack had been raised mainly by his Aunt the Honourable Anne Robinson who came to look after the children when their mother had died after giving birth to his sister Theresa.  His father was frequently absent, either in London taking up his parliamentary duties or attending various race meetings exercising his passion for horses and gambling.  There was a mixture of indulgence and discipline, along with high expectations of his academic achievements. His early life was spent with adults until he was sent away to school at the age of eight which brought him into contact with other boys, later he was to recall how Mr Kyte the school master at Hammersmith gave him a lifelong interest in hot air ballooning.

Inevitably this more normal schoolboy experience was destined not to last, his father called him back home when his health began to fail and once again he became the solitary pupil of a tutor firstly at Saltram and then at Mr Andrew’s home in Leicester. He was also under the care of his uncles Frederick and Thomas Robinson, who kept a careful eye on his life.  One important relationship had been formed however, whilst at Mr Kytes.  There Jack met Granville Leveson Gower who became a lifelong friend and confidante.  The Leveson Gowers were fabulously rich with estates in Staffordshire and huge income from minerals discovered on their land, along with thousands of  inherited Scottish acres.  Lady Stafford, Granville’s mother, was rather fond of Jack who she saw as a poor little chap without a mother to guide him.  Certainly he suffered the teenage agonies of spots which his Aunt gave rather bizarre advice for their cure.  Lady Stafford held him up to Granville as an example of how she thought he should be applying himself to his studies.  It is from her that we learn that Jack was a little eccentric in appearance, it is also from Lady Stafford that we first learn of his drive to control everything and everyone within his radar.

 

Granville Leveson Gower

Finally Jack escapes the constraints put upon him by his relationship with his Aunt, Uncles and his tutor and arrives at University in 1791, Christ Church, Oxford, the alma mater of his father and grandfather.  His father’s death had placed a further constraint that of shortage of ready cash.  Great debts incurred by his father’s gambling habit and the crippling cost of keeping expensive thoroughbred horses had to be paid.  Letters pass to and fro to his guardians asking for new boots, breeches, a horse to go travelling with his friends, bills for his shoemaker, college servants and furniture for his rooms were also mounting.

One of the greatest pleasures on arrival at University was Jack’s reunion with Granville Leveson Gower who had also been with his tutor and therefore they had separated for a while.  The two young men gathered around them other aristocratic students who formed a close group which beside their studies flexed their social wings and launched themselves into a furious round of balls, dinners, entertainments and visiting.  Amongst these young bucks was a slightly older man, George Canning, he was to become a leading politician of his time eventually achieving Prime Minister.  Canning’s relationship with Jack lasted far into his adulthood, eventually foundering on broken promises and self preservation on Canning’s part.

Amongst Jack’s friends was Lord Henry Spencer he was invited to Blenheim and fell heavily for the charms of Henry’s sister who was already engaged to be married to a man who Jack completely dismisses as worthless and is convinced she would fall easily for his own charms, if only she would notice him.  He writes the most excruciatingly awful poem about what he would do if she would only come to him, needless to say she carries on to marry her fiancé and Jack is ‘heartbroken’ for just a moment.  The friends travel the length and breadth of England and Wales venturing into Scotland during their vacations.  They stay in numerous grand houses along the way but we do not have any clues as to their romantic encounters on these journeys, but it is not difficult to imagine they have half an eye open for a likely liaison to amuse them as they travel along.

 

In 1793 the time came for every young man to do what every aristocratic gentleman could hardly avoid – the Grand Tour.  Unfortunately for our intrepid ‘Tourers’ France was out of bounds because of the political situation and they had to start their travels in the low countries, moving on to Germany and Switzerland.  The group consisted of Lord Amherst, Lord Beauclerk[1], Granville Leveson Gower, George Canning and of course Jack.  There would have been letters of introduction produced to give them entree to noble homes of the European elite.  They travel right up into Russia spending time in St Petersburg and eventually returning home for a short while.  The following year Jack and his friends apart from Granville return to the continent, this time making for Italy, they are eventually joined by Granville who has to travel by sea which caused him delays.

 

The Only Known Image of Lady Elizabeth Monck



Eventually the group arrived at their ultimate destination, Italy and in particular Naples.  Here was a little St James abroad, a small enclave of the British aristocracy idling their days away sight-seeing and indulging in a little sketching waiting for the evenings when they visited, ate the food, drank the wine and made love to the ladies of their choice.  Lady Harriet Bessborough who was also residing in Naples tells us that Jack and Granville spent their evenings at the house of Lady Elizabeth Monck and her husband, playing cards and indulging in what appeared, on the surface at least, to be a little light flirting.  Jack and Lady Elizabeth shared what today might be called a 'holiday romance' however, it was, as time will reveal, much more serious and the relationship was to touch many lives over a very long period of time. 





Harriet, Lady Bessborough
 by Angelica Kauffman

Granville meanwhile was busy seducing the already married Lady Bessborough, they embarked on a liaison that was to last many years and produced two children who she sought to conceal from her husband.  Lady Harriet was the sister of Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire who was hardly the greatest example of propriety and moral integrity.  Their letters portray the atmosphere of illicit meetings, hurried coming togethers, notes being surreptitiously passed via close friends who could be trusted. It was an exciting, dangerous game and served to prove that for the men they were virile and irresistible.

This was an era of loose morals and turning a blind eye.  However, if you over stepped an invisible line as a woman you would be ostracised by society regardless of whether your accusers were indulging in the same sort of extra marital dalliances.  A good example was another resident of Naples at that time, Lady Webster who was yet another dalliance of both Jack and Granville. Lord Webster was over 20 years older than his wife on their marriage, she later met and fell for the charms of Lord Holland, one of Jack’s set, Lord Webster divorced her whereupon she married Lord Holland.  She became persona non grata in social circles being supported by only a very few friends whose own ratings were decidedly suspect namely Lady Bessborough and the Duchess of Devonshire. 

The threat of a French invasion advanced, Jack and Granville were summoned home to England to take up their duties in their local militia.  Much drilling, marching and practising took place on the cliffs and downs of South Devon, camps were set up where Jack was obliged to spend time although it seems he took the easy option and rented homes nearby thus avoiding the discomfort of living in a tent.  Despite the tense political situation and looming war Jack still managed to entertain lavishly at Saltram, military and naval movements meant that senior officers were always looking for a meal and entertainment and Jack was happy to oblige.  Intriguingly there is a single letter dated 1794 from Theresa which says that Jack is going to marry and the lady is to be a Miss Rowland.  We hear no more of this, one possible reason could be that the overwhelming influence and infatuation with Lady Elizabeth Monck would not allow him to consider another woman in his life.

So what kind of woman was Lady Elizabeth Monck? Firstly she was a great beauty, Lady Holland tells us in her journal “Lady Elizabeth Monck is divinely beautiful, her head is angelic”. On meeting Jack she could have been as much as eight years his senior, a very desirable older woman.  She was the daughter of Sir Arthur Saunders Gore, 2^nd Earl of Arran,  in 1788 she married Henry Monck a barrister, and renowned gambler, retaining her title of Lady in her own right. Despite her marriage she was not averse to extra marital flirtations, she was courted by George Canning a close friend of Jack Parker, there is also reference to her catching the eye of the Prince of Wales[2].  She was a friend and confidante of Lady Bessborough and acted as a go-between, taking notes and messages between Harriet and Granville.  There is no doubt that Jack Parker was totally captivated and not only did they appear at social events in London but also travelled to Paris together, there was a veil of respectability since her husband is often in the party but this probably suited their subterfuge. Nothing on earth could have appealed more to Jack than to have his vast ego fed by the intimate attentions of a beautiful and desirable woman who was not available and therefore could not trap him into being tied down – at least at first.

There were two daughters from her marriage to Henry Monck, Elizabeth and Catherine (Kitty).[3] As the years passed Jack became more and more determined to make his life with Lady Elizabeth but despite his pleadings she steadfastly refused to leave her marriage saying that she could not put Henry or her girls through a divorce. Could it have been that the sums of money involved in compensation to a husband for a faithless wife were prohibitive or did she simply have the best of all worlds?  A husband who had given her two beautiful daughters and who was prepared to turn a blind eye, a lover who was the father of three sons all of whom were provided for by Jack at huge cost and finally and perhaps most importantly, she was still accepted in society.  However, she was not universally liked and there are many open and veiled references to her behaviour. Even the King was aware of Jack’s long association with Lady Monck and there is letter written by Theresa Parker describing her discomfort when the King expressed his approval that the affair was at an end, Theresa did not reveal to His Majesty that Jack was, even as they spoke, in Paris with Lady Elizabeth and the affair was far from over.

Hon. Anne Robinson
'Aunt Nanny'

In September 1796 there is a very interesting letter from Aunt Nanny at Saltram who tells the recipient that she has been boating with Mr Monck and that he is a very nice man.  She comments that Lady Elizabeth Monck has been helping making screens describing the paintings, she also compliments their daughters.  It would appear therefore that the whole Monck family were staying at Saltram and enjoying Jack’s hospitality, this visit continues for several weeks – the affair was clearly still passionate and very much alive as almost nine months to the date of the letter the first of Jack and Elizabeth’s three illegitimate sons was born.  A letter dated October 1797 reveals that Lady Elizabeth is back at Saltram again, just four months after their son's birth. Three years later however, there are numerous letters expressing concern about the hold Lady Elizabeth has over Jack, his attitude to the family which was becoming dismissive and aloof[4].  His sister Theresa was particularly concerned and for a time at least there was extreme tension within the family because of Jack’s determination to continue his affair with Lady Elizabeth. Somewhat surprisingly it would appear Aunt Nanny was not aware Jack was the father of these three boys, it was left to his second wife, Frances, to impart this information to her 11 years later, her reply was a dry “Humph, a pretty story indeed” – given Nanny’s nature she probably did know but chose to ignore the truth.

Their first son was John Charles, 'base born son', he was baptised on 16^th August 1797 at Westminster the names were disguised both for the baby and the parents, however, this was no ordinary base born child.  His sponsors were Dr and Mrs Richard Croft an eminent physician who was to become accoucher[5] to the Royal family.

There is no further record regarding the birth of the child, nor of the following two sons born 1799 and 1800 in any of the surviving correspondence.  The next son was George Howard and this time his parents were named as John and Elizabeth and the third child was baptised Augustus Granville, all three bore the surname Stapleton.  The babies were removed from their mother and in all probability cared for at the Parker ancestral home in North Devon.



By 1804 Jack eventually had to admit defeat and decided to seek a wife to legitimately continue his family line.  Who would he choose – was he eligible?  Contemporary accounts suggest that he was something of a figure of fun, maybe a tad eccentric, Lady Bessborough writes to Granville Leveson Gower in July 1805:

".....He does not want for good sense or information; what is it that prevents any of this standing in his stead, and makes him so conspicuously absurd? I cannot make it out now, too, particularly that he wishes to avoid the sort of ridicule he courted  before.  I cannot tell you how kind he has been to  me, nor how sincere a regard I have for him; but never was any one so strange." 

Certainly he was well known about town and mixed in the highest aristocratic circles.  The family’s home in London was 29 Sackville Street, further along the street had been the home of the 10^th Earl of Westmoreland, John Fane, although he had moved to Berkley Square by the time of the marriage and Jack had taken a house in Hill Street. 

John Fane
10th Earl of Westmoreland

His wife, Sarah Anne Child, had eloped with him and they married at Gretna Green, one of their daughters, Sarah Villiers, Lady Jersey was considered rather eccentric, however, she was fabulously rich having inherited her grandfather’s estate which also included Child’s Bank and dictated social fashion as patroness of Almacks Club.  Interestingly she was known as ‘Silence’ as she never stopped talking! John Fane had another eligible daughter Augusta who was, however, 14 years younger than Jack at just 18.  One of Jack’s less attractive personality traits was that he was very pompous, Lady Granville recalls that he declared that a husband should always be 20 years older than his wife, he didn’t quite make it but wasn’t far off.  Augusta was naive and probably somewhat in awe of this much older, experienced man about whom she must have heard whisperings of his previous amours – and there is evidence to suggest that this was the case.

The marriage certificate shows that they were married at her father’s house in Berkley Square by special licence.  One of the witnesses was George Villiers, the husband of Jack's sister Theresa who was also present at the wedding.

 

Their marriage appeared to be reasonably happy for the first couple of years, in 1806 their son Henry was born.  Contemporary writers hint that there were cracks appearing, it is clear that he was still seeking the company of Elizabeth Monck, apparently Augusta was aware and understandably jealous of this continuing affair.  There is a hilarious account from the Duchess of Devonshire in 1805 who writes to Granville Leveson Gower about Jack’s instructions which Augusta has to follow in every area of her life, it would appear his controlling nature was well known in society:

"Lady Boringdon looks with child and is not so; he directs not only her visits but the hours she has to pay them. I imagine that he gives out his orders like a General, and that he points out her route, and where her stations are to be. Attention! - turn to the Right; Halt at Ly. Bessboro's at 3, D House 4 &c" 

To sum up, this young, naive girl finds herself married to a pompous, egotistical older man who seeks to control all aspects of her life and in addition continues his relationship with a woman who was the mother of his sons and clearly the love of his life.  Visits to Saltram separate her from her friends and family but gives her a respite from the danger of Jack seeking out Lady Elizabeth Monck at social gatherings in London.  She finds herself living in a marriage of three people, that sounds vaguely familiar!  However, there is no doubt she was aware of Lady Elizabeth’s continuing presence, worst of all she was probably aware that Jack was not really in love with her and having produced his son and heir his interest in her decreased even further.  How could she get him to take notice of her?  Her solution was to embark on her own extra marital liaison – who did she choose to be the object of her attention? A contemporary of Jack’s and a diplomat, Sir Arthur Paget, he came from an old and distinguished family, his father was the 1^st Earl of Uxbridge and his brothers were eminent Naval and Military officers. 

 

Sir Arthur Paget
John Hoppner 1804

He was, like many men of his time as we have seen, a womaniser even seducing the Duke of Bedford’s cook , Lady Bessborough writes: "Sir Arthur Paget has carried off - no Lady, but what makes as great a sensation, and perhaps you would value as much - the D of Bedford's Cook! It is an absolute elopement" and he was an amour of the Duchess of Rutland[6].  He treated women badly but nevertheless he pursued and was encouraged by Augusta.  Undoubtedly she was flattered by his attentions and we know he visited her when Jack was absent from the house and in agreed locations out of the house, but more of that later.  If she thought that all this would make Jack jealous she was sadly very wrong, he simply did not care enough about her to worry about what she was getting up to and there is evidence to suggest that he was unaware, but was forced to respond to growing whisperings and eventually confront her.

Things came to a head in 1808 when one day in May Augusta made her decision, apparently after Jack had challenged her about her relationship with Sir Arthur, and she took flight from the house and into Sir Arthur’s arms.  There was a frenzy of reporting in all the newspapers, they intimated that it wasn’t the first time she had run from her husband.   Some of the stories were mere supposition but perhaps it was the truth that Augusta found an affectionate letter from Lady Elizabeth Monck and her husband’s half written fond reply which prompted her flight. 

It is interesting to contemplate her state of mind since she must have known that once she had left the house leaving her son Henry behind it would, in all likelihood, never see him again which, sadly, was indeed the case.  She must have been desperate to take this enormous step which she knew very well would, and did, banish her from polite society.  It was probably therefore not a spur of the moment decision (she gave her maid instructions to take her clothes to Sir Arthur’s three days before the elopement), she had probably considered the implications of her actions before making her final momentous decision.

What was Jack to do? He was the person all men dreaded, a cuckold, and had to bear the shame of a man whose wife had run away.  Given that he was burdened with a massive ego and was very conscious of how he appeared in society her flight from their marriage must have come as a terrible blow.  He wasted very little time and took the first step that would eventually extricate him from this loveless tangle.  Unfortunately the only way to do this was to allow all the sordid details of her affair to be aired in public, each detail to be pored over as the newspapers reported the scandalous events.

Divorce was almost unheard of and only reserved for the most wealthy and influential since it required the consent of the highest authority in the land, namely the King, to grant the dissolution of a marriage by an Act of Parliament.  Before this could happen, however, another process had to take place known as ‘Criminal Conversation’, essentially a claim for compensation for the loss of the husband’s goods i.e. his wife.  This process required all the details of the affair to be examined in court and the defendant in this case Sir Arthur Paget to plead his case, the outcome was inevitably a large sum of money to be awarded in compensation.   For us looking back into the past the interest generated by the newspapers allows all the details to be available for us to study and draw our own conclusions from the evidence.

The court heard how Lady Boringdon would take Henry and his nursemaid in her coach to Kensington Gardens, Sir Arthur would meet them at the Bayswater Gate and the nurse would take Henry in one direction whilst the couple would walk in the other.  The Porter at the Boringdon house reported that Sir Arthur would arrive as soon as Lord Boringdon had left, he would rush past and bound up the stairs and spend time alone with Lady Boringdon in her room.  The trial was clearly an open and shut case, the Defendant, Sir Arthur, had agreed for the judgement to go by default and the jury was directed to assess the case for damages only.  Reading the transcript of the trial it is clear that every effort was made to play down Lady Boringdon’s part in the scandal, Sir Arthur was represented by Mr Garrow, a well respected and eloquent KC who pleaded that Augusta was somehow a victim of fashion and had been a little foolish and naive in her actions, and it was made to look as if the whole thing had happened somehow by accident. 

Sir William Garrow KC 1810

Jack, represented by Mr Parke KC, was painted as a God fearing, upright, moral man who was an entirely innocent victim in this case. The first my have been so, but for the rest he was certainly not that man.  Mr Parke tried to intimate that the Boringdons had a strong and loving marriage, Jack's sister Theresa was called as a witness.  She assured the Jury that they were, as far she she was aware, happily married.  Their Chaplain, the Rev Hayne, told the Jury that the couple shared a happy relationship.  However, a maid from the Boringdon household, when asked if the couple shared a bed hedged her bets by stating that there were two beds in their room and both were slept in.  The jury however had no doubts about the true facts in the case and took just 10 minutes to award damages of £10,000 against Sir Arthur.

 

Having achieved the award of damages the next step for Jack was to obtain a divorce, this was presented to the House of Lords in February 1809. 

The Crown Inn at Lyndhurst, Hampshire

Once again witnesses were called, this time servants from the Crown Inn in Lyndhurst and the Wheat Sheaf in Popham Lane North Waltham all of whom confirmed that the man they now knew to be Sir Arthur Paget and Lady Boringdon arrived at the Inns and asked to see the rooms, they took two adjoining rooms, however, one was used as a dressing room only and the couple slept in one bed.  Testament was also sought from Theresa Villiers who confirmed that Lady Boringdon was married to her brother and she was in attendance at the marriage.  The language of the Divorce Bill was harder than the Criminal Conversation it talked of “adulterous intercourse”, certainly not making any attempt to protect Lady Boringdon this time – the divorce was duly granted and Augusta and Sir Arthur married the following day.  Augusta was already pregnant by Sir Arthur and there was some anxiety about her being married by the time of the birth. 

Jack was finally free to find another wife and he did not take long, he married Frances Talbot on the 22^nd August 1809.  His total lack of romance or consideration for Frances’s feelings is evident in a letter to his sister written in April of that year, where he describes Frances as being quite pretty in candlelight and when dressed.  He desires Lady Lennox to make enquiries about the mental state of the Talbots and suggests that if nobody better comes along she will do – it is pretty shameless.

Did he mend his ways?  Did Frances tame him?  Sadly not, his friend George Canning comments to his wife in a letter of 1810 that “Boringdon talks of his present wife and her predecessor just as one would of a new butler!”[7]   The first intimation that his womanising ways were still in evidence is in an early letter from Jack to his sister Theresa, he refers to a Mrs Eliot who “Fanny knows about and understands”.  He not only has three illegitimate sons but also a natural daughter Louisa Payne who was possibly born after to his marriage to Frances.  The Stapleton family believe she was the result of Jack’s liaison with a ballet dancer from Bristol, after further research however, there does not appear to be any documentary evidence to support this claim.  Certainly he makes arrangements for Louisa to be taken to India as a companion to the wife of his close friend Lord Amherst, where she marries Lord Henry Gordon a disastrous mistake as it turned out.  She returned to England many years later with a large family only for her husband to disappear having been declared bankrupt.

 

As for Jack he could not resist other women, Frances seems to take all this in her stride and her letters are full of jokes about his behaviour.  He visits a neighbour a Mrs Clark on the pretence of a dispute over a boundary, these visits are only thinly veiled, Frances finds it hilarious that Mrs Clark still receives him despite being treated with leeches to her face! Balls are arranged simply for him to meet with his favourite of the moment, on one occasion he invites two women who are rivals for his attention, Frances tells her sister in law she feels sorry for ‘her favourite’. One of these ladies of the moment was the recipient of a pair of warm stockings belonging to Jack who personally knelt at her feet and pulled them on her legs to keep her warm on the journey home in the snow.  One an only imagine the scene, Jack lifting her skirts to pull up the stockings whilst the assembled company looked on, not to mention Frances herself.

The servants were not immune from his roving eye either, a dismissed governess writes to her boyfriend “I confess he (Jack) has a fine pair of Dark Eyes and they say he sometimes casts them on me, but I have never yet look’d at him for in truth I cannot bear the fellow”, there may of course have been an element of sour grapes or reassurance of her faithfulness about this statement but nevertheless just as likely a morsel of truth.   He seems to be hell bent on making himself look foolish where women were concerned, this continued until the death of his son Henry and daughter Caroline in 1817 and 1818, their deaths brought him closer to Frances and probably also due to his advancing years his roving eye turned to his home and remaining family.

There are many more twists and turns in Jack’s story, Sir Arthur Paget’s brother Charles married the  daughter of Henry and Lady Elizabeth Monck, also Elizabeth, which made Augusta not only Jack’s ex wife but sister in law to his lover’s daughter - the cause of her flight from Jack.  A story circulated so widely that it came to be regarded as the truth, was that Augusta had come disguised as a mysterious Miss Smith to the bedside of her son Henry as he was dying.  This story was entirely false, the Miss Smith was Frances’s companion and they nursed Henry together and were both with him when he died in his step mother’s arms.  Augusta was informed of his death by Jack and a copy of the account of his illness was sent to her.

So what happened to Lady Elizabeth Monck? Having been ostracised by her son in law's family, the Paget's, for a number of years she was eventually welcomed back.  She became estranged from her husband but returned to Ireland to try to rebuild their relationship.  Another bizarre twist at the end of her life found her sharing accommodation in Hampton Court Palace with Augusta Paget where they both had an apartment,  both Augusta and her rival appear on the census return for 1841.  Elizabeth died in June 1845 at the age of 81, of course Augusta outlived her eventually dying in 1871 in her Grace and Favour apartment.

With regard to Jack’s three sons, their lives were not always straightforward and have a story all of their own.  It is suffice to say that whatever faults Jack had, and there were many, he cared and provided for his natural sons and supported them as best as he could their whole lives.  Despite all his quirks, arrogance and controlling ways Jack does have something that intrigues and makes you shake your head and smile.

c: A S Rayfield, 2014

---

[1] Charles George Beauclerk (1774-1846) son of Lady Diana Spencer, daughter of 3^rd Duke of Malborough and Topham Beauclerk

[2] Life and Letters of Maria Edgeworth: Maria Edgeworth. 1894. Edited by Augustus J C Hare  Vol 1 letter 92, 13^th May 1813

[3] In a bizarre twist her daughter Elizabeth was married hastily due to her rapidly expanding waistline to Charles Paget the brother of Sir Arthur Paget

[4] 1259/2/503 PWDRO

[5] Obstetrician

[6] Lady Bessborough to Granville Leveson Gower 6th June 1807, Private Correspondence of Granville Leveson Gower, Vol. II 1781-1821, p253, London 1916 and The Later Correspondence of Geo III p3813 13^th February 1809, Arthur Aspinall, CUP,

[7] Harewood Mss in Letters of George Canning, Vol II, pg 57